


Even Angels Will Fall

by hyperion



Category: Inception (2010)
Genre: Crack, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-06-26
Updated: 2011-06-26
Packaged: 2017-11-15 09:33:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 695
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/525826
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hyperion/pseuds/hyperion
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eames takes advice from late night TV.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Even Angels Will Fall

Eames’ mistake was late night channel surfing. With absolutely nothing on, he found a new channel called _Axe_ , currently showing a segment titled “Make an Angel Fall for You.” This was a hardly interesting bit about using Axe body spray to con Victoria’s Secret models into touching you or some such. As he watched, it became increasingly horrifying, like a train wreck or Yusuf’s driving.

The channel must have employed the use of subliminal messages, because the part of him that became psychotically gleeful at the merest idea of picking at Arthur turned on. Whatever part of his brain that was supposed to keep him from doing foolish things had obviously not been working properly for years.

“What _is_ that smell?” Arthur asked. He had just come into the warehouse and blanched in the doorway.

“What smell?” Eames asked.

“That smell! It’s like…it’s like…it’s like bug spray and cheap cologne.”

“I don’t smell anything,” Eames said casually.

Arthur frowned and began sniffing, trying to find the source. Eames watched him amusedly as he circled the computer area once and then twice. Arthur finally caught the right trail and stopped dead in front of Eames.

“You!” he accused.

“Me?” Eames asked.

“What did you do?”

“Well, let’s see. Today I made myself eggs for breakfast, read the paper—”

Arthur walked across the building, sniffing his way to the bathroom where he found the empty can of Axe. He sniffed it once to be sure, and that whiff was enough to send him reeling. Gripping the can tightly, he marched back into the living room. “What is this?”

Eames shrugged. “Body spray.”

“ _Why_ is this?”

“Well, I saw it on the telly last night and thought I’d give it a try.”

Arthur pinched the bridge of his nose. “Eames, are you secretly a twelve-year-old boy.”

“Can’t say that I am.”

“Are you a twenty-year-old douchebag dudebro?”

“What’s a dudebro?”

Arthur flopped down in the chair nearest to him and glared at Eames. “You’re doing this on purpose, aren’t you?”

Eames pursed his lips, trying not to smile. “Just what do you think I’m doing?”

Arthur considered throwing the can at Eames’ head, but ended up glaring him into cooperation.

“All right, all right. I confess. The ad said it would make angels fall for me, and I just thought that maybe it would work on you.”

Arthur went so lax in surprise that the can dropped from his hand. He literally gaped at Eames. His mouth opened. Closed. His eyes narrowed. Widened. Narrowed again. “I can’t tell if you’ve decided to make me miserable today or if you really thought this obnoxious body spray would be a good segue into a bad pick-up line.”

Eames smiled at him. “I have been known to make grand romantic gestures from time to time.”

“Disgusting odors are not romantic gestures, Eames.” Eames was about to respond, but Arthur held up his hand, cutting him off. “If you would like to romance me, you will never imply that I am an angel again, you will ask me out on a proper date, and you will take a shower before the date.”

“You mean all I ever had to do was ask you out on a date?” Eames asked.

“All you ever had to do was act like a normal person,” Arthur retorted.

“Hmm…” Eames considered it. “Arthur, darling, would you like to join me for dinner tonight. I promise not to use the Axe body wash I bought if you say yes.”

Arthur looked like he was pleased but trying not to show it. “That would be lovely, Mr. Eames.”

They made the plans for their dinner date, with Eames rushing off to shower early. As he scrubbed the offending odor off himself, Eames realized that he was more excited and nervous about this date than he had been about his first. If everything went well, then Arthur really would fall as hard for him as Eames had fallen for Arthur, and then he would have more opportunities to infuriate Arthur and get away with it, because Arthur would love him anyway. Eames really should have his head checked.


End file.
